Lousy pickup lines
by Sugerbliss
Summary: This is a valentines day special: after bestowing the Kuchiki family, Renji is forced to go through an entire week using lousy pick up lines to try to make Ichigo laugh. What he doesn't know is that Ichigo has some feelings for him and that during this time Ichigo believes that Renji has some feelings for him too... humor and some drama, lol.


"You have got to be kidding me!" Renji said angrily towards the raven haired girl.

"Nope I'm serious, You have a week to get him to react towards you or the deal is off!" Rukia said before leaving.

Renji sighed as he made his way towards the world of the living, he knew that this was going to be a very long day. He didn't mean to piss off Rukia, he didn't know that standing up towards one of the higher members were going to be that bad of a disgrace towards the Kuchiki clan.

It has been two weeks since either Rukia or Byakuya has said a word to the red head and now in order to be forgiven; Renji has to suffer the same disgrace as Rukia by trying to get Kurosaki to laugh out loud at one of Renji's horrible pick up lines.

He had only one week and Ichigo was like the worse person when it came to laughing at jokes.

"Why the hell does this always have to happen to me?" Renji asked as he walked through out Karakura town and caught a glance of the gingeret.

"Hey Renji!" Ichigo called out as he ran in his substitute soul reaper uniform. "Your late, I already took care of the hollows here!" he said looking quite pleased as he put his large zanpakutou away.

Renji eye'd him and sighed; he'd tell him about the task after he laughed, however until then he knew that Ichigo is going to be pissed off. Looking up and down the younger teen, Ichigo looked puzzled.

"Is something wrong?"

"It's nothing... you look great and all, but do you know what really looks good on you?" Renji asked causing the young ginger to turn his head out of curiosity.

"No... what?" Ichigo responded inocently.

"Me..." Renji said bluntly.

Ichigo just stared at him for a few moments trying to process what he had just said to him.

"What!?" Ichigo said a little taken back and not really catching Renji drift.

"Did it hurt?" Renji then asked changing the subject.

"Renji, did what hurt?" Ichigo asked now sounding rather annoyed.

"When you fell out of heaven." Renji continued only boiling the red head even more.

"The hell is wrong with, are you drunk?" Ichigo asked feeling quite uncomfortable.

"Drunk with the sight of seeing you." Renji said slightly looking at the paper he had with lousy pick up lines Rukia had made for him.

"Ok, now your just being annoying..." Ichigo said turning angrily. "Don't talk to me unless your sober!" he said before leaving.

* * *

Lying on his bed, Ichigo was studying for his exam when all of a sudden he felt like this odd sensation of being watched. Looking up from his view, he came to see Renji staring point blank at him from his window.

The teen squeaked as he jumped off the bed.

"What the hell is wrong with you Renji!" Ichigo growled angrily.

The red head had obviously scared the hell out of him, however Renji paid no head as he continued on with his little game.

"Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" Renji said making Ichigo give him a dirty look.

"Don't even think about it..." Ichigo mumbled through clenched teeth.

"My love for you is like the Energizer Chappy, it keeps going and going." Renji continued as he opened the window and entered the room.

"In about three seconds, you will be going out the window." Ichigo snapped back.

"I'll give you three seconds to give me your number or you can forget about seeing me-!" Renji said getting caught off when Ichigo's foot connected with his face.

"Stupid chilly pepper!" Ichigo called out angrily before lying face first into the pillow.

"Why the long face?" asked Kon. "I thought that last one was a classic!"

"I don't know, Renji's just acting like a total creep right now..." Ichigo muffled within his pillow.

"Well that shouldn't bother you. Last time I checked, you seem to have a secret crush on him..." Kon said making lousy kissing noises in the back.

Ichigo turned red as he quickly seized the animal.

"I'm just kidding, I was just Kidding!" Kon cried as the teen mercilessly went to the bathroom and dropped him in the toilet. "Help!" Kon cried.

"You can save yourself!" Ichigo snapped angrily when all of a sudden, there was a dark shadow within the curtains of the shower.

"Hey Ichigo!" Said Renji from within the shower.

Ichigo screamed and fell back at the sight he saw.

"Renji, what are you doing in my bathroom?" Ichigo asked half panicking from seeing Renji in the shower.

"The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you." He responded as he got out of the shower and began to slowly approach him.

Ichigo staggered to get onto his feet.

" Are your feet tired? 'cuz youve been running through my mind all day." Renji said as he bent down...

Outside the bathroom, both Yuzu and Karin frowned at the awkward sounds that came from the bathroom. The sounds of grunts and gasping were pretty loud.

"Should we knock?" asked Yuzu.

"Nope..." Karin responded when all of a sudden Renji was thrown out the door.

"And stay out!" Ichigo yelled and paused to see his sisters looking at him like he was a mad man.

Smiling a bit, the teen felt completely embarrassed.

"S-sorry about that... I was just having a few ghost problems..." he mumbled looking rather red.

"It's alright Ichi-nee, we understand!" Yuzu said sweetly before grabbing her sister and giggling off into the other room.

Ichigo's smile soon faded as his face darknend back towards Renji.

"Today is the day you die..." he threatened causing Renji to run.

"I hate Mondays!" he screamed as he ran outside the house.


End file.
